Taking control back
We can all experience difficulties that may seem devastating to some of us and a walk in the park to others. We shouldn't compare.
Recognising another's difficulties can help put our own into perspective. Maybe our experiences are not as bad as we thought compared to someone else? Or maybe what we are experiencing is awful and what others are going through is nothing?
When we are experiencing demanding, punishing times, we can feel so overwhelmed by it all that we cannot see a way through the challenges, no possible positive outcome! These heavy thoughts can make us angry and frustrated with the world, leaving us feeling like we have nowhere to turn. No one understands what we are going through! If they did - they wouldn't be looking so chirpy!
Whatever you feel, you need to know that you are not alone. We all experience difficulties at some point in our lives.
We've spoken about this before in a previous article. The brain can sometimes repeat the same responses to situations that we cannot help but react the same way as before. We have to learn new ways to adapt. Research shows that the brain experiences changes with depression, some long term effects, making depression sometimes harder to treat.
Our world is so fast-paced we barely get a minute to absorb daily events. Sometimes it feels like we are running faster and faster to keep up with the world. Other days it feels like we are running and getting nowhere! Finding some time in your hectic lifestyle is crucial to help you feel as best as you can. Try adding some new practices to your daily routine? Maybe yoga? Meditation? Even just a moment to take a hot bath and relax. All will help how we are feeling.
If you feel you need to cry - then do so. When we hold all our pressures in, muscles can tighten, new aches and pains appear. Some say crying helps relieve some of the tension and can make us feel better, like clearing the mind.
Talk to someone. You don't have to face what you're feeling by yourself, whether it's a friend, someone in the family, your partner, the doctor, a therapist, a stranger, whoever you choose to talk to, share your thoughts with them. They may be able to suggest some ideas to help move forward.
When we are not feeling our best, life can seem so draining. We no longer have the same oomph we once had. Even some basic activities start to become difficult, making the bed, tidying your home, leaving the house, cooking. The list goes on. But we do know that little steps make a massive difference. Even if it's just washing a few pots to clear the sink area, putting a wash on so you have some clean clothes, clearing clutter near the front door or in the rooms that have become hoarding spaces, having a clear-out and spruce up around the place makes us feel a little better.
Our world is so fast-paced we barely get a minute to absorb daily events. Sometimes it feels like we are running faster and faster to keep up with the world. Other days it feels like we are running and getting nowhere! Finding some time in your hectic lifestyle is crucial to help you feel as best as you can. Try adding some new practices to your daily routine? Maybe yoga? Meditation? Even just a moment to take a hot bath and relax. All will help how we are feeling.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to be so superhuman that when we are struggling, we sometimes feel the need to hide that too. If no one knows the difficulties we are going through, we appear to the outside world that everything is fabulous. We are managing all the struggles that have come our way - we are brilliant, we can handle anything?
The truth is we are not superhuman. We can't do it all. Would it be so bad if we shared our feelings with someone? Expressed how we felt and how we are struggling? Would it be that bad? According to who? Who's judging?
Maybe we feel a lack of self-control if we don't seem to be handling things so well? If you face these worrying feelings, does that mean you no longer have control? So don't face those feelings? Hold it in. Maybe you're someone who walks around so positive all the time that no one would have a clue if you are feeling sad or helpless. You certainly don't show it. You look like the world is your oyster!
The pain catches us all eventually.
Facing your difficulties and finding positive ways to cope will help with the situation. Chatting with friends about it, crying, yoga, good food, screaming into a pillow, talking to a therapist, sharing those deep inner thoughts... Let it out!
September 10th is National Suicide Day. Each year Samaritans and organisations work together to promote awareness of suicide day, over 70 suicide prevention and mental health groups under the National Suicide Prevention Alliance (NSPA).
Each year they create a theme to help promote awareness, this year- until 2023, is 'Creating Hope Through Action', encouraging people to engage with the complexity of 'hope'. Asking people what they do to help when they experience difficult times, like going for a coffee with a friend, going for a walk or run.
The latest suicides statistics showed that in 2018, in the UK and Republic of Ireland, more than 6,800 people died by suicide. Every life lost to suicide is a tra
gedy. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma attached to mental health. I remember asking for help years ago and the doctor saying, "since you have mental health difficulties," I was so embarrassed! Even the choice of words that he said made my stomach turn. Although this was a long time ago and some practices have improved, I shouldn't have been embarrassed and certainly wouldn't be now. We are not superhuman! We can't always cope. We shouldn't be ashamed or afraid to ask for help without being judged. The stigma needs to change.
Thanks for reading ✌🏼