Grateful equals peace
What does it mean exactly to be grateful? Is grateful - thankful? How do you start to feel grateful when everything around you is full of negativity and sadness?
Life sometimes comes in unexpected throws, one bit of bad luck, then another, then more and more, a ruck that won't seem to move. The energy is flawed - you wonder if it will ever end?
Quoting my favourite goddess of all time Oprah Winfrey, "There is a lesson in almost everything that you do and getting the lesson is how you move forward." I cherish this quote.
Everything in life was brilliant, unaware that the conveyor belt of badness was about to hit our lives.
We had just bought a new home together. Moved in, the carpet was saturated, the walls soaked, the living room was inhabitable.
But we were so high on happiness, happy to finally be in our dream home that we just knuckled down and carried on, drying out the living room, plastering walls and ordering new wooden flooring.
From nowhere, the Uk hit a recession!
No one could help us, the mortgage lenders worked differently then and their offerings to 'help us' were not practical nor financially doable. Without a hitch, our home was up for auction for repossession. We had tried everything to keep our family home. The stress of the whole situation tore us apart as a couple. I felt mentally numb.
On the day of the repossession hearing, I had to attend the courts. The judge and other high-flying people sat around a huge oval table. I had one final fight to try and keep the house from going into repossession. Everyone seemed mean and heartless. Dismissive of my needs and how it must feel to lose your family home and your relationship. I left the courts at the point of breakdown. I lost the battle.
Life moves on, learning to live each day with the hurt and despair, Oprah certainly wasn't on my mind that day in court. I was angry that it had happened, angry with everything.
It wasn't until I sought some counselling that the counsellor told me "they were just bricks"! I couldn't believe this, how could she say my family home was 'just' bricks! I needed a minute to understand what she was saying to me. How was this going to help? This councillor was no help at all, no idea what I was going through.
I continued to think about the counsellor's words, "They're just bricks - they're just bricks", her words made sense.
This new mindset changed everything. A new relationship, a new home (obviously couldn't own it) I cannot tell you the relief of having a roof over our heads, some food (although not much at that time) in the cupboards, somewhere we could start to 'live' again and begin our new chapter. Welcoming to the world was my second son, full of life, happy, excited to be here, my little man, so beautiful.
That right there, that moment was when I realised how to be grateful. Grateful for so much, laughter, happiness, life, air, love. We couldn't wish for anymore.
This new attitude didn't happen overnight. Life is hard sometimes, much harder with negative thoughts and uncertainty. Somehow you have to teach your brain to focus on the positive views - everything will get better, tiny steps, day by day.
We were grateful for so much -
- Being alive
- We had somewhere to call home
- Surrounded by love
- Food in the cupboard
- Some money in the bank
- Family
- Beautiful children
- Our health
- kindness of others
- sunshine
Over time we changed jobs, slowly started building our life back, didn't have much money, but a little money was better than nothing.
The biggest obstacle was ourselves! You're so stuck in a cycle of negativity and bitterness that the brain starts to think that this is the only way to be! But it isn't. It took a long time, constantly reminding ourselves that each day is a step in the right direction.
So how can being grateful bring you peace? What exactly is this 'peace'?
There are no right or wrong answers. Laughter, happiness, smiles, love, loving your home, loving the people around you, loving yourself, taking care of yourself and others bring peace. Life becomes easier when you let go, move from the past and focus on the here and now and what the future may hold. You will find your peace.
Consider all the things you would like on your list.
Whenever you feel yourself sliding into feelings of despair, take a look at your list. Try and avoid self-doubt, negative self-talk and judgment of others. All are hurtful thoughts and do not bring peace.
"Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow." - Robert Kiyosaki
Thanks for reading
Georgie ✌🏼