Are we ever switching off?
Years later, you have moved past that time and realise you were in such a horrible place that you couldn't seem to get out of it.
When we experience stressful times, it's so difficult at the time to pull yourself out of that space and try and calm down. You know that if you could take a moment and breathe, reassess the situation and maybe even get some help, that you would be able to cope a little better. But for whatever reason, you carry on - in super gear.
People around you can see and feel your tension. They try to help you, but you think they are interfering and have no idea what you're going through. It's so difficult at that moment to see it happening to you.
The stress builds and builds, affecting everything you think, feel or do. Maybe you can't sleep properly? Having irrational thoughts about the situation, feeling like there is no way out of what is happening, everything is horrendous and exhausting. You are so tired. You can't sleep, you are in desperate need of some healthy foods, but you can't seem to pull the energy together to even think about cooking something. You feel so alone, so isolated, snappy, tearful, angry, at a loss.
Stress affects us so much during our daily lives now. We must find better ways to cope with stress and to recognise when we are going through stress.
We have all just experienced Covid-19 and the impact the pandemic has had on each of us. We are still going through it and probably will be for some years to come. For lots of us, Covid-19 has completely changed our lives. We have never been through a pandemic like this before. The impact it has had on everything we do has been exhausting for everyone, pushing our stress levels to the maximum, particularly our mental health. So many people are still suffering from their mental health. It feels like we have had to adjust our lives to adapt to Covid and find a new way to cope with it.
Maybe part of the stress that we experience is because we are not prepared. New pressures only add to our daily lives. That additional pressure is what pushes our stress levels into overdrive.
In the fast-paced world we live in, with facilities open twenty-four hours a day, are we ever switching off?
More and more workplaces are opening past the standard 9-5 hours and even though we thought we wouldn't be food shopping at 8.30 at night - there we are, we think it's great, we haven't had a chance to go yet, it's open at 8.30 - brilliant! That's helped relieve a little pressure. By the time you get back, unpack the shopping, get everything you need to get ready for the next day, now it's bedtime. Now you have to try and stop the mind from thinking about everything. Do we ever switch off?
Have we created extra pressure for ourselves and the next generation? Or are we just adapting to our ever-changing society? Is the way we live changing - and we are not adapting?
Should we accept that pressure and stress will become more prominent in our lives? Should we look for ways to deal with stress in our everyday lives? Are we stuck in old routines - or are we trying our best to adapt?
We all experience different stresses and experiences in life. Sometimes the pressure and stresses help you become more resilient to additional pressure. Have you experienced so much that you crack on with everything? Do you even notice new stress and pressures? Are you used to it?
Other people might not have managed to go into fight mode. The pressure has been too much. Each day is a battle, never mind any additional stresses. Maybe you have been a tough cookie for so long that the last bit of pressure is the one that takes you over the edge, the one where you mentally crash. It's too much.
Are we in a vicious circle fighting and avoiding maximum stress and pressure? Then when the pressure comes, we can't cope?
When I speak to my parents and grandparents, I think about how wise they are, how resilient they are and how they appear to take things in their stride. Maybe their experiences have taught them to be this way?
In my twenties, I dealt with stress differently from how I do today. Experiencing different types of stress have helped me manage stress. Some seemed extremely difficult, while others are ongoing. Are these life lessons - not stresses?
Do you mature with stress? Do you cope better the older you get? Or is it just different types of experiences? Nothing to do with age?
Have your experiences taught you when approaching a new pressure to compare? This pressure is tiny compared to what I've experienced.
Whatever we have been through, it's still difficult to cope when we are in the middle of it all.
Should we teach ourselves and future generations that stress and pressures are part of life and how we prepare and cope with them is more important?
My parents tried so hard. They were so positive, so energised, so mentally strong, supportive, everything. But when I faced my first hurdle of stress - I couldn't cope. The only thing I did do was fight like a trooper first, trying to resolve the situation. Some may have mentally crashed much sooner, but I fought for quite some time. My resilience was a strong point. Fighting and fighting and not achieving the desired effect at the end is soul-destroying. That's when I crashed. Everything I had learned about pressure went out the window. It took years to recover and get back to a place where I could move forward. The experience then became my lesson.
I hadn't got the skills to deal with this situation, but I had learned to stay positive and keep trying. Although I didn't achieve my desired outcome, I learned a valuable lesson that stays with me today. Knowing it's a lesson helps me deal with the experience.
I've covered this topic before about my favourite lady of all time Oprah Winfrey, who states that everything we do has a lesson to be learned. I love that. We don't always see it at the time. How did we miss it in the first place? Did we choose not to see it? Did we expect a different outcome?
Freeing yourself of the difficulties you experienced is extremely hard to do, but a process that worked for me. In my mind, I couldn't change the outcome which I needed to accept. Learning from the experience, seeing the lesson frees me from the pain. I can then move on.
When we go through difficult experiences that cause us great stress that affects our mental health, we are unaware of the lasting damage, the slow decay to our mental state, and lack of optimism. Our hopes fade away. A barrier around you, a wall that no one can get through. People have no idea what you're experiencing.
Someone once said to me, "you create stress for yourself!" So heart breaking at the time, but I wonder, was I the chaser? I was trying to achieve a dream. Did I have to take risks? Did the risks pay off? If I didn't chase, then I would have never known. I would still be wondering today.
Passionate or silly?
We might not achieve everything we want, causing added pressure and stress, but staying in our comfort zone doesn't always give us the desired effect either. When we're chasing something we want, it's only natural to put as much energy into it as possible.
There are lots of ways that help us identify if we are stressed -
Difficulty sleeping
headaches
Chest pains
feeling dizzy
feeling anxious
high blood pressure
Mood changes
tense muscles causing pain
Feeling exhausted all the time
These are some of the symptoms associated with stress, so it's imperative to find ways to help balance our lives to reduce the impact.
A good starting point is to write down everything that is adding to your stress levels. Work your way through your list to identify the main issues that need dealing with straight away and which ones can wait. Condensing it will shorten your list and relieve a little pressure.
Consider talking about your difficulties with a friend or family member. You could also call Samaritans on 116 123 free phone number available every single day of the year.
Take a look at your time. How much do you have available? Is the lack of time stressing you out? Could you change anything that would free up some time?
Look after yourself, spend some quality time relaxing, a soak in the bath, a walk, visiting your friends. Give yourself some time to do what you find relaxing. When we relax, we are generally calmer. A calm mind helps reduce feelings of stress.
Be aware of your sleep routine. Avoiding phones and tv in the bedroom helps keep your space calm. Maybe some yoga before bed to help with breathing and slow the heart rate down? Perhaps a good book that can help you settle and unwind?
Take control. Be positive, try and focus on your achievements and try not to be too hard on yourself. It may take some time to feel like you are back on track, so go easy on yourself. Remind yourself to take little steps, day by day.
Get help. If you have tried everything and still feel like you're sinking, try and get some help. Contact your Doctors, don't be afraid to ask for help.
